


Lie to me

by Peonybud



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Why do I keep writing sad shit, married au, they hurt in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:20:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27978741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peonybud/pseuds/Peonybud
Summary: Jeonghan can't keep going like this, and Seungcheol doesn't want to let go.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Kudos: 8





	Lie to me

_I know that you don’t, but if I ask you if you love me, I hope you lie to me._

  


Getting out of bed feels like a chore these days. Mustering up enough energy to go to work and face the day, face his _husband_ seems impossible. But he does it anyway.  
  
Seungcheol doesn’t like to think of what ifs. He doesn’t like to wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t choked on his words when he tried to ask a girl out for the first time in sixth grade, if he had listened to his parents when they tried to convince him to get a business degree instead, if he had never ducked into that café to escape from the rain where he first met Jeonghan. He doesn’t like to picture what his life could’ve been, because he loves it as it is.  
  
Correction: loved it.  
  
“Good morning.” He says stiffly, a little awkwardly as he walks into the kitchen.  
  
Jeonghan nods back but doesn’t respond. And Seungcheol has no energy left to make conversation either so he just makes his morning coffee as quick as he can and escapes to the bathroom.  
  
This is what they’ve both come to- Greetings and the occasional small talk. Any more than that and they both start shouting at each other. Seungcheol knows his marriage is over. They both know it. But he isn’t ready to let go yet. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be.  
  
The day passes excruciatingly slowly, and yet it seems too soon that he’s walking back to his apartment, knowing what sight awaits him- the same as it is every day. A half empty box of takeout on the counter, and Jeonghan in bed with his back turned towards him, already asleep.  
  
Today however seems to be different.  
  
Instead of a dark, empty room, Jeonghan stands up to face him as soon as he walks in, an unreadable look on his face.  
  
“Seungcheol.”  
  
It’s the first time he’s addressed him directly in months. It knocks out the breath from his chest, because he knows. He knows what’s coming next. It’s what he has been dreading, trying not to think about for the past few months.  
  
“Han…” He pleads. Pleads for him to understand, to listen, to change his mind.  
  
_Don’t do this, please.  
  
I can’t let you go.  
  
Stay with me. _  
  
Jeonghan closes his eyes, pain flashing across his face for a second. And for a second, Seungcheol allows himself to hope. And then it passes, and Seungcheol’s heart cracks as Jeonghan’s face hardens.  
  
“Seungcheol” he starts again, “This is not working. _We_ are not working.”  
  
Then he pauses and Seungcheol wonders what his face must look like at that moment when Jeonghan raises an arm to comfort him but drops it back again just as quickly.  
  
“And I think it’s time to stop trying.”  
  
Seungcheol wants to protest. Wants to remind Jeonghan that the forced civility they’ve been maintaining doesn’t count as trying. That Jeonghan didn’t speak a word to him since the last time they fought until today. That he can’t remember the last time they kissed or even smiled genuinely at each other.  
  
The words don’t come past the lump in his throat. He watches silently as Jeonghan places the divorce papers on the table, telling him to send them to his office after signing. Watches him put on his coat and shoes and gather his stuff. Watches as his husband leaves him behind.  
  
The bond that connected them, declared them as belonging to each other, fractures with every step he takes, until it gives away completely and Seungcheol feels like he’s floating untethered, without his other half to ground him.  
  
For the first time in his life he wonders if it was really meant to end this way. Wonders what could have been different. If there was anything he could have done, so that he and Jeonghan would have stayed together.  
  
He thinks of the promise they made, to love each other forever.  
  
Knows that it was just another one of their promises that they failed to keep.__

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not fond of this, I feel like it could've been a lot better, but I'm posting it anyway cause I'm tired of seeing it sitting in my drafts.
> 
> Title and inspiration from- Lie to me by 5 Seconds of summer


End file.
